sex ???

ok guys really concerned...lets see i have not been intimate with DH since we found out we were pregnant...so 9 weeks now...yea i know poor me...i mean DH!! lol  so am terriefied that if we do have sex it will cause me to mc!!  i cant even think about getting excited cause i go into a panic attack...gyno said all is well but am a nervous reck...i tend to keep alot to myself but i dont even want to walk the wrong way to avoid anything...i know what will happen will happen no matter what ...but how do i get over this freaking fear!!! this is our 4th try and i will not be able to relax till i hold my baby in my arms no matter how far along i am!! i know i sould crazy but omg.  what advice you guys have ? what do yall think? thanks in advcance...    Tanya

I am probably in the minority here, but here goes...You have to do what you are comfortable with.  It is means holding off sex until 2nd trimester, or birth, that is OK!! Just explain to hubby...there are other ways to be intimate during this time.  Just be careful to communicate so hubby doesnt feel jealous or neglected.  and after baby comes, work hard to re-connect that bond with hubby.  My last pregnancy from 9 weeks until 8 weeks post partum there was NO SEX happening.  I was nervous and scared then uncomfortable.  Hubby was VERY understanding and now we joke about it and it is all good.  After months of not, it was sort of akward and funny the first time again.  I think the key is communication with hubby and your comfort level.  God Bless.

I agree with the previous poster. I too was scared to death of loosing the baby. But then I stopped and thought about it - IF I was going to have a miscarriage it was going to be beacause there was a genetic problem with the baby more then likely and there was nothing I could do about it. Also maybe try something other then sex the first go round - something less invasive might kind of ease you into things, worked for me - when I saw that there was no adverse reaction I was OK with sex the next timem (granted it's happened twice in 14 weeks lol) Oh and TMI i'm sure but well sex was a bit more uncomfortable then I'd imagined it would be this early out...

Liz

That's normal.  We waited until the second trimester.  We were both just too paranoid about it.  I also agree with Liz that it's been a little uncomfortable.  You might have some dryness you didn't have before.  I've never needed lubricant but I do now.

I think even worrying about sex or even worrying about m/c is worse than having sex or somethign that will cause you to get excited! lol  Stressing out is bad for you and the baby.  This is my 3rd child and I'm nervous about losing the baby at any time too, pregnancy is a miracle and if you can carry the baby full term it's such a wonderful thing.   I am just grateful to be pg and to be 20 wks now.  I'm like you too, I will finally be able to fully relax when I'm holding the baby in my arms!  

And as for sex, I was so sick with nausea and was so tired for the first 12 wks that poor dh was lucky to get sex every 3 weeks and that was just pity sex... lol.   And now that I'm feeling a lot better, I still don't have much of a sex drive.  So hubby is lucky to get some once every 2 wks.  Before I got pg though, we'd do it a few times a week and I was totally opposite of how I am now!  Poor hubby....  :(     And then once I have the baby, no sex for 6 wks and then I probably won't get my drive back for a few months... ha ha.

Try not to worry though, God has a plan for all of us and if this baby is meant to come into your life, he or she will!

I know everyone is different and if you feel you want to hold off thats up to you... I hope everything works out this time for you this time...  Me I can't control myself half the time...lol With my daughter we had sex all the time until the end when I was to big to move...lol I am being more cautious this time cuz of the surgery and the fact that I am having twins... We have fooled around a few times but I still want to be careful even though I am into the 2nd trimester...

thank you so much guys yall have no idea how much i appreciate your anwers and makes me feel less neurotic. lol i think maybe after the first trymester i will feel much better. DH really understandin even though he wont even sleep in same bed with me for now ...sometimes i think hes more scared than i am ...its kinda cool and sad at the same time they treat me like a little breakable doll!!!  well i guess i better enjoy it while i can  thank you so much my OH fam i could not make it wihout yall

As the other posts said.....I agree that communicating w/ hubby is everything! Pregnancy is a difficult time for us....and the fear is going to be there.  I had a miscarriage 2 months prior to my current  pregnancy and.....honestly i can count on one hand how many times my hubby and i have had sex due to the fear of losing another.   We were both worried so we have decided to wait til baby arrives, to return to our normal routine.   good luck!

Same here! For my past two pregnancies, there was NO sex or ANYTHING for that matter going on in our house until the 2nd trimester at least. I remember my last pregnancy, I was 14 weeks before we did the deed, and this pregnancy, I was 15 weeks! LoL It's just a psychological thing, has completely no physical purpose, but it makes me feel better and DH understands and puts up with me until I feel ready! LoL

As a result, he LOVES it when I tell him it's time to make a baby because he knows he's gonna get it every night for months LoL. The problem is, once he's successful, he knows he's cut off for just about 9 months sraight with a few "freebies" here and there. I think it's worth it in the end in his opinion

I'm 16 weeks and since I've been spotting the whole 16 weeks, I was told by dr, "no sex".... I understand about being worried....all this spotting is making me a wreck.  I havent even started telling people yet that I'm pregnant just b/c of the fear of miscarriage.  Go with your gut and stay in your own comfort  zone